January 9, 2009 early morning
If you are following the meltdown of turning 40, here’s another little tidbit.
Well here it is! My 40th birthday. However, it wont be official until 9am, so I have some time.
Right now its 1am, and what the hell am I doing? Before I started writing this, I was watching some T&A movie on Showtime. Now Im just listening to it. Nice soft music..with a moan thrown in for good measure. LOL.
If I knew then, (a fine gal in my 20’s), what I know now, I would have the world by the balls right now. (Please excuse my potty mouth!) Dam this aging thing! I could have been a billionaire!
Well I guess my only booby prize is that I haven’t turned into a toad or wore. Yeah, I may resemble Jabba the Hut, I don’t want to turn INTO it!
To touch on some other weird ass thoughts of the day. Why is it that no matter what Im thinking or feeling at the moment never shows in expression? Its those dam pictures haunting me again!!! When my self-portraits were shot, I had the most joyful and happy thoughts going through my head. The picture looks like I just ate a dog turd or something..holy shit, maybe I should opt for the plastic surgery after all.
Why is this being such a crisis for me? You would think I just got diagnosed with some horrible disease. Has anyone else ever felt this way, or should I just plead “temporary insanity”? Hell now I see why men that hit 50 want to buy sports cars and date younger women! Oh gosh, I just figured out an answer to those age old questions that I used to sit and think about.
Well Im off to bed and hopefully I will make it through the night without any nightmares about old, pruney women!!
Until the next installment!
